pinchique*thoughts

Hey! It's Sharrah Mae Vercide Del Castillo..
Welcome to my page ;)

My friends call me "insik"
but i'm not any of those kind..
I'm all the way Pinoy and imma one true blue Cebuana..

I'm not totally good.. Just as other people are.. But i'm not mean, even if you are, i don't mind..
I have unstable thoughts and emotions, which makes me kinda hard to deal with..
but i know how to cope up, say sorry if know i really did something wrong, and appreciate even the least things..
I live as how i want to live and i speak with words i want to speak.. Blogging is the only way I can spit every emotions, whether how good or bad they may be..
This is kinda not my type, but sharing is :)
Feel free to follow ;)
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People change. I change, you change, everybody else does. And who doesn’t? With what we have, I can’t think of any reason to stay other than looking forward to what good plans we have for each other. But good plans are just good plans. Some of it would not come when one does not give that good push. In the end, one or both ends up hurt - expecting a lot for the good. Been there, done that. Sick and tired. Love? What worth would it be without time. What worth would it be when good words are far off to speak? When what you have are mere abbreviations and too virtual verbs and phrases? When trust and faith have no place to replace unwanted thoughts? Now let the best man of love speak.

Too much of everything can make you sick, even the good can be the worse. Just then I wanted to crash and cry myself out, I just can’t. Crying is out of my line. Only good songs can make me better. 

Pathetic, realizing a lot today. Few of the good things and much more on regrets and doubts. There is no other way I can pour everything out other than mere talking, but all I can think of is typing it down. I can’t seem to find the right person to tell everything to, can’t seem to find the perfect time but this and now. It seems like I’m struggling to find comfort in this huh.. 

There are just things making me uneasy. But despite all the pressure and stress, I do find myself in smiles with people and some strangers who barely knows how to appreciate you. 

Physicality matters a lot. A simple talk alone can only ease a bit of burden. But a talk with a tap saying “Everything will be fine” can be much better. The thought of having someone to say what you want to say can be good. But having that thought realized in front of you with a matching crying shoulder to lean on can make a difference. With somebody who can cheer you up virtually, you get to laugh for a while. But hearing it straight to the ear and seeing the real facial and hand expression can make you laugh and not stop.

To a dying infant, a mother’s touch motivates him live. To me, it keeps me going despite my flaws :) I’m done. 

Ginagmayng Kalipay :)

Put some good tunes in your words and STOP talking like it’s going to happen.. It’s the same sick-and-tired feeling when I’m listening to a stupid sad song, that does not only annoys my hearing but also breaks my heart for destroying one good music. Crazy >.<

Oh please, I can even put on grudge unto ANYONE for making me hold unto expecting for something. I don’t like to get stupid here. And I don’t know how long I can hold it. I’m just sick and tired for that. I don’t like to think I’ve got my time wasted for nothing. Would you just feel the same if you were at my stand? I am someone who looks forward in every uttered statement, no matter how small or simple the deal is. Consider me having a crazy perspective, but the fact would remain, if you can’t change that, don’t expect me to do so. And most of all, should you not be surprised for getting me so cold. 

A million miles away, your signal in the distance, to whom it may concern. I‘m talking loud not saying much. There’s a boy here in town, says he’ll love me forever, who would have thought forever could be severed by the sharp knife of a short life. Trying to be perfect, trying not to let him down. Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now. While the floors underneath our feet are crumbling, the walls we built, together tumbling.  I still stand here holding up the roof, cause it’s easier than telling the truth. And it gets me upset when you’re constantly accusing, askin’ questions like you already know. Over time, pictures fade, I’ve got proof that people change and all that’s left are these empty frames. Left me, in yesterday, you don’t see me that way, touch me that way, no more. It’s getting so cold, I’m not sure just how much longer I can hold. 

 I gave you your dreams, ‘cause you meant the world, so did I deserve to be left here hurt? You’re stone cold, you say it ain’t so, you already know I’m not attached to material. Thinking all you need is there, building faith on love and words, empty promises will wear, I know. And as I say it louder, I love how it sounds, cause I’m not taking the easy way out. Not wrapping this in ribbons, shouldn’t have to give a reason why. The tension is here, between who I am and who I could be, between how it is and how it should be.

It’s not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story. This time I’m mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking. My hands, they’re strong. But my knees were far too weak,to stand in your arms without falling to your feet.

I am hungry for something that will make me real. Can you see me?
Do you love me? Cause I am desperately searching for something real.

I’ve had just enough time. We’ve had our ups and down, but we’ve always worked them out. I am ever glad we’ve got this far now. Through the storm we reach the shore. You give it all but I want more, and I’m waiting for you..

If you ask me how I’m doing, I would say I’m doing just fine. I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind. :)

A relationship takes two people, not one person being faithful and another acting single. One has to remember, that the most precious gift you can give a person is the gift of your time and attention.. 

HAPPY 4TH MONTH 

5-20-12

5-19-12 :) <3

MAY 19, 2012

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